I'm at the point now where coherent thought is iffy but I have a whole lot of things rattling around in my poor little head. Here's a sampling:
I am officially over snow and cold. I woke up YET AGAIN this morning to see a dusting of snow on the ground. Normally, I'd be "yeah, snow! awesome!". But there's somtehing about this little race in Houston in nearly 3 weeks in 90+ degree temperatures that's not making snow so awesome right now. Saturday I had a 2.5 hour ride / 1.5 hour run brick, and I decided to drive up to Longmont, ride around, then run on the St Vrain trail. I didn't even close to Longmont before big puffy snowflakes started falling. I about started crying right there. I will put up with a lot of stuff, but I just won't ride my bike while its snowing. So, I went back home to workout on my trainer, but mentally, I was defeated. I really wanted to ride outside and while I know the trainer is actually a harder workout, I have little nagging voices in the back of my head, wondering if my race will be ok since I've been having to ride inside so much.
And speaking of 90 degrees, I really don't know what to do. Ikeep reading on slowtwitch and beginnertriathlete about how IMTX will be a suffer fest because of the heat, but I really don't have a way to train for it. Granted, I knew about this when I signed up for the race last June, but I had NO IDEA I'd move. So, do I spend my taper sitting in a steam sauna? Do I wear a bazillion layers while working out? Do I just shrug my shoulders, knowing its out of my control? Honestly, this heat thing is consuming about 90% of my thoughts - and mainly its frustration. The heat is simply out of my control. A very hard thing to rationalize for a control freak like me.
I feel a bit like a mental patient with these dissenting voices. I've trained hard and I know I can do this. I just don't know if I can do this (if that makes sense?). Theoretical versus practical, with NO practical experience in this.
I am at the point where I'm just tired and want to get this over with. For nearly every workout, I'm having to give myself a pep-talk, just to get started. Generally, once I get moving, I'm fine. But wow, its a bit hard to get motivated (especially with snow on the ground). Fortunately (or not?) my fear of "I won't be able to complete the race if I miss this one workout" provides the motivation to get up and moving.
Somebody at work on Monday stole my cheese that I had for my afternoon snack. I was VERY cranky about this. I'm now keeping my cheese in my lunch cooler at my desk. Do not mess with a pre-IM athlete and her food. The only thing keeping me from sending emails or being very crabby is that I'm still new here and I don't want to be "that person".
Chocolate milk is about the most awesome thing ever. I'm going to be sad when I'm not drinking a half gallon a week, just because I need the extra calories.
Focus.... I have none. Lets just say that work is um, interesting right now.
I cannot wait for taper, but I'm a bit worried that while I won't be logging crazy hours, I will still have crazy ass-kicking workouts. Guess I'll find out in a few weeks.
We close on our house in a WEEK. Still haven't thought much about logistics or moving, or anything like that. (see above comment regarding focus).
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