A bit lost but trying to find my way

I used to be so motivated.  Check out my workout stats in the right side of this blog - I've barely done  anything lately.  It took a while, but I think I've finally hit burnout.  Maybe crash and burn style burnout.  After ~15 months of always having something to train for, I really have nothing on my calendar.  Or rather, anything that I care enough about to take seriously.*

Seriously.... sad stuff here.  Especially the swimming.

I'm just tired.  I have really icky peely rough skin around my rib cage from who knows how many hours of wearing my heart rate monitor.  Seriously, its gross.  My feet still get achy easily from IMTX.  And my calves are fubared.  So messed up that, after running with what I'm going to call "shin splints"** since February, I finally went to get physical therapy a few weeks back.  That therapy involved very painful massage and even more fun - sticking acupuncture needles into my trigger points (muscles) and letting my muscles convulse around the needle.  Good times!

I want/need a break.  However, I'm also gaining weight.  Rather, I suspect I am because I feel blah and pudgy - getting my actual weight would require me to go to the gym.  This is bad.  I also don't want to lose the muscle that I worked sooo hard for this spring.  What to do.. what to do.

Moving forward, I think that once I get through the Denver RnR half marathon this weekend, I'm putting up my running shoes for at least a month.  Probably should have done that in June. 

I also think I'm going to lift weights at the gym at work 2x a week.  One of my "winter" activities was supposed to be weight lifting.  Something I totally forgot about until maybe February then ditched completely.  This winter I will lift weights so I can ride my bike up these Colorado hills more easily.

 I'm also going to enjoy winter*** and get myself a season pass to some ski areas.  I will then go skiing as often as I feel like it and not feel guilty.  (although, training for Boise 70.3 will get interesting.... I have to start riding in February or March). 

I will also join a new swim team and actually go to practice.  For the first time since 2007, I've been "swim-homeless".  The team I'm going to join is far from perfect, but I will have friends on the team, which says a lot in keeping me motivated in going.  There's a lot to be said for having people keep you accountable.  Which is a big part of why I'm so blah lately - no accountability. 

I'm also going to TRY and make myself get up early and hit spin class once a week at the rec center.  Also, for the past month, I have not woken up any earlier than 6:30 AM.  That's right - no morning runs or swims.  A few times I've set the alarm, but then realized the air temp was below 50 and decided it was too cold and I would be happier asleep in my bed.  Need to work on that, as it was 37 this morning (brrr!) and it will only be getting colder.

So that's the plan (sort-of).  We'll see if it sticks.

* I have a half marathon on Sunday.  Normally that would motivate me to train for it.  This time though, I really don't care about my race time or splits or anything.  All I care about is drinking beer with my friends when the race is over.  I just hope my IM fitness will help me through it, because my running volume in the past month sure as hell won't.  Also: how jaded and sad am I when a half marathon isn't a big deal anymore?!?!

** "shin splints" is code for I may have a stress fracture but I don't actually want to think about it or find out for sure that I have a stress fracture.  Smart, huh!

*** Enjoyment of winter is skiing often with no Ironman in my way.  Also, enjoyment means no running in the snow (or when its below 20 degrees) and definitely NO BIKE RIDING IN THE SNOW AND COLD.  Really, I see snow reports coming in and I want to cry.  I am so scarred for life from training outside last winter.  I think I've got IM-training PTSD.  I used to love winter, now the thought of snow makes me cringe.  Hopefully skiing will fix this. If not, I'm in trouble.