Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Overheard in the gym locker room

So, no more swim team. (at least until my old team’s application to swim back at the ghetto school is approved). I was trying to swim with another team, but I didn’t like the pool or the coach or the members. So much for that! Then I tried swimming at the pool at my gym. Only the chlorine fumes made me nauseous – so, that’s not working either. My latest solution – spinning!

Anyways, I need to get on with the whole point of this post - a funny quip I overheard in the locker room, post-spinning. So, these two girls (skinny, cute, younger than me. Basically bitches). I guess they were both teachers and were discussing life and all that crap. Like “ohh, how great it is that we help kids!” then they segued on the topic from teaching kids to actually having kids. Here’s my attempt of capturing their conversation, although, keep in mind I’d just done an hour of spinning before the sun was up. And I hadn’t had coffee yet.

Skinny Bitch (SB) #1: So, you ever think of having kids
SB #2: yeah, I want kids. I’m ready for kids. But you know, I’m single. And I don’t have a boyfriend even. So, I don’t have a husband. So, I’m not sure how that would really happen. You want kids?
SB #1: [wrinkles face, looks in horror ] [editorial comment - maybe she’s not such a bitch? Just skinny? Nah, skinny = bitch]
SB #2: well, I suppose that working with kids all day makes you not want to have kids yourself.
SB #1: well, that, and you know, overpopulation. Just think if everyone had kids, what that would be like.
SB #2: wow, I know what you mean. Just think of how crowded all the restaurants would be.
Wow. Just wow. Forget the strain on the government, public resources, the planet, the environment. Remember, overpopulation’s most major threat is unnecessary over-crowding of public eating establishments.

And with logic like her’s (SB #2 teaches 6th graders…. shudder), maybe THAT’s good enough reason to not have kids. So that way your kids won’t end up having a teacher as ridiculously oblivious as she is.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very funny! I really think those lady's are biatches now.