I was going to post something happy, until work pissed me off

so, I'm going to post both happy and pissy. lucky you!

So first - happy post:
I swam 3,000 yards this morning, which is something I haven't done since high school. Sure, in HS I was swimming 4,000 yards, but hey, I'm clearly not in HS form any more. We've got a US Masters Swimming event next month. The Postal Swim. This post was going to be titled "Going Postal, but not in a Postal Service kinda way" until work decided to kill my good mood. But this is the HAPPY part of my post. Yeah, happy thoughts... Anyways, back to happy. So, the postal swim is an hour long challenge, where you swim for an hour (duh) WITHOUT stopping. The goal is endurance and to see how far you can swim in that time. This is daunting on a physical level, but also on a mental level. Sure, I'm pretty sure I can swim for 60 minutes straight, but can we say b-o-r-e-d-o-m? Not to mention getting past little muscle aches, frustration, etc? So, in practice we are going to work on doing longer sets and focusing on activities within those sets to keep us mentally engaged for the Postal. Yes, I'm a sadist, but well, I accept it and move on.

So now, pissy post:
Had a chat with both my supervisior (X) and office mgr (Y) about my future and about me working with the other division. X just started sputtering random stuff, like he's worried they'll stab me in the back, etc. Basically, he's worried about losing me. So, I told him that for me to want to stick around, I need to be doing ENGINEERING work. Which jogged his memory that he has to evaluate some remediation system in Corpus Christi next week, and that gee, it would actually be better for ME, the engineer to go, rather than himself, who is not an engineer. Well, no shit. I got my point across, but I doubt it will be retained. Then I talked to Y, told him I'd like to persue the work in the other division to broaden my horizons (and to give me guaranteed work), but if that doesn't happen then they need to provide me with some engineering work. And that includes involving me in "hands on" tasks for this stupid work plan I've been the work horse on and introducing me to our design engineer not as "data manager" like he did last week, but as "the engineer who will be supporting your efforts." He definitely acknowleged my point - but again, only time will tell. Apparently they do have some cool stuff lined up for me, but they don't tell me these plans. I told him that I need to know what's planned for me or else, I'll go make plans on my own.

Then, lets add their blantant ploy at pissing me off: I took this sales based training course (in house) last year. Well, Xwants me to take it again. I told him that I wouldn't get anything extra out of TAKING IT AGAIN IN LESS THAN A YEAR. So, he sends this email:

"I have recommended that you take this class again, as I feel it will improve on you interpersonal skills in dealing with clients. This is only being offered as a "tool" for your personal growth, as our company, is such a sales driven organization. I think this training will help you as you work to advance within the organization.If you are willing to accept the fact that the potential for advancement within the company may be somewhat limited for those who do not get involved in the traditional "seller-doer" role, I will ask admin to remove you from the list of participants. I'll leave the decision up to you. Either way, let me know ASAP, for scheduling purposes."

WHAT THE FUCK is up with that? For starters, they haven't really provided me an opportunity to actually meet with clients. And the one client I do have and like, actually called me first thing when she had an emergency project. I think I do ok given the lack of sales support I have around here. Then, lets talk numbers. I'm not at a Category where I get incentive bonuses for my sales. So, there's not much really to motivate me financially. They did set a sales goal for me last March for one year. Keep in mind we're just shy of 3/4 of the year, and I'm already at 150% of my goal. So do I really need remedial sales training? reeeallly?

Seems to me like they are going the "lets piss her off enough to make her quit" route. Based on their responses to my requests yesterday, it seems that while they may say that I need to take initiative, my initiative has to match what they want. And I can attempt to play things my way, but they will do whatever they can to be difficult and un-responsive. And then I get dinged on MY reviews for not being a team player and essentially being a horrible employee. But with all this shit, what here is supposed to make me want to be a good employee? I can beat my sales goal with little support, and in return, I get remedial sales training. Thanks. Way to inspire the workforce there, manager.

So, in summary: swimming good. work bad. buy more jewelry so maybe someday I won't have to work here anymore, mkay?