Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I am soooo bummed

I feel as though someone has ripped my heart out of my chest and tossed it on the floor, and all I can do is watch it stop beating.

Got an email from my swim coach today - starting the 18th, he's moving all swim practices to a pool that is very, very far away from me. As in I'd have to drive an extra 50 miles AND leave half-way through practice to get to work on time. In other words, its possible to swim there, but not remotely practical.

In April, we lost access to the HS pool we were swimming at. Turns out our coach was paying the HS coach under the table to grant us access. Well, the HS fired the coach and changed the locks. And guess who was screwed? Us! The solution was to swim T-Th at an outdoor pool which is on the way to work for me and M-W-F at the far, far away pool.

So, its already been sucky to have my practices reduced from 4x a week to just 2. And now I'm essentially losing my team until we can get access to our very-centrally-located-former pool again. Which, I've been told, we're doing thru proper channels, but since its a public school district, they don't move very fast.

I'm bummed for so many reasons. These people are like my family - I've got a few "moms". Some really good friends. I'm challenged, but not in a way that I'll end up hurting myself. And its a good emotional/physical release from stress - had it not been for swim team during my past job, I'm not sure I would have ended up killing a few people. And I've been with these people for 2 years. Its amazing how you bond at 5:30 AM when you're cranky and half asleep.

Mostly I'm bummed over this disconnect from my friends that I see at practice. When I moved to Houston, I had a hard time making friends (despite what you hear, I don't find Houston a very friendly place.... unless you're a specific type of person, and by that, I mean not me). So, I joined a gym, in high hopes of meeting someone with common interests and goals. And no one talked to me. And they looked at me like I was a freak when I put on my "I'm really fun and friendly" face in hopes that maybe someone will strike up a conversation. I was really hurt over how hard it was to make friends in a social-sports environment. I even joined a social volleyball team, and all that got me was a broken thumb. From beach volleyball, In December. I've always had a fairly easy time making friends in sports - two of my best friends I met in summer league swim team when I was 17. And now I'm on this team and I'm comfortable and I have friends. And now its like our parents got a divorce, and our parents are on opposite sides of the country, and we (the team) are having to pick which parent to live with. And unfortunately, it looks like I'm going to have to live on my own for a while.

So now, I have to shop for a new team. And I'm not sure any will "fit." A few are at night and I'd have to fight heavy interstate traffic. A few are in the morning, but even earlier than my current team - but its fairly easy to get to work.

I've got a few calls and emails out for research. But overall, I'm just really, really bummed that I'm losing my family, even if it is for a month or so.

1 comment:

Neomi said...

Erin, I feel for you on this ... :( It's hard to have to readjust. I felt the same way when I moved jobs. I had such a solid group of friends and supporters at my old place. I had someone to go to lunch with everyday. I love my new job, but some of that is gone. It felt very lonely and hard at first. But thats kind of different because I chose to leave.

The good news is, I've found my new groove. Different, but there are new people I like, and they are funny too. I hope your new swim team starts to feel like home, too, when you find it.

In the mean time, lots of HUGS.