Tuesday, January 10, 2006

A matter of degrees

So, the thermostat at the pool is a goner. As in we have no temperature control – the heat it either on or off. Not a huge problem in summer. But right now, its not so fun. The HS kept the heater on all weekend, and on Monday, the pool’s resultant temperature was 85 degrees. Think bath water. Think Gulf of Mexico in summer. Think of me trying to swim a hard workout without puking due to the heat. Sure, it was easy jumping into the pool, but even during warm-up, I was too hot. Coach killed the heat after practice. Today’s resultant temperature was 84 degrees. I dipped my toes in and it felt *much* colder. I even shivered a few times during practice. It amazes me how HUGE of a difference a degree or two makes for water temperatures. 5 degrees is a matter of being too hot, too cold, or just right. Can we say Goldilocks anyone? Should I be swimming in porridge instead of chlorinated water?

There’s air temperature degrees. We’re in this oingo-boingo phase where the temperature undulates from warm to cold, from cool and crisp to muggy and uncomfortable.

Then there are other degrees. The fancy diploma I have on my wall which tells me I’m an engineer. Even though lately, I don’t feel like much of one. Being an engineer was so much a part of my identity. And now that those brain cells have been on hiatus for so long, I’m not sure I remember how to be an engineer. How to have confidence in my skills that the framed document on my wall professes me to possess. And I’m not sure I want to be an engineer anymore. I’m sure that if I was happy with where I was work-wise, things would be different. But they’re not and at this point, I’m not sure that even switching jobs would help. Or if I switched jobs, I could be motivated to perform or behave like an engineer.

And finally, there’s the degree in which I feel like I should be making an effort with things. Like my job. Sure, I have work to do. And some of it is even interesting for once. But given all the crap that transpired in the past month, I just don’t really feel like putting forth the effort. To me, its much more fun and rewarding to work on promoting my jewelry, reading TWOP and gossip columns, and dreaming of what my life could or should be like.

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