Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The pool is always greener....

Isn't that how the saying goes?

The chlorine pump at my pool is dead. It was a little cloudy yesterday (before we knew the pump was dead) and we showed up this morning and you couldn't even see the shallow end. Although the water was a pretty aqua color instead of mucky green. So, seeing as how my Postal is in 5 DAYS, myself and a friend headed over to a nearby gym where I have membership to swim. We get there and all 3 lanes are taken - by SLOW people. One lady had good form, so she is forgiven for her slowness. One guy had eh form, but he did offer to let me split the lane with him, so he is also forgiven for his slowness. Then there's this dude in the center lane. Older, going bald, wearing a speedo. Ok, you think, not so bad? So, he's swimming side stroke and wearing goggles on his forehead. Then he flips over to do backstroke - a very limp wristed version of backstroke, still with the goggles acting as fashion accessories rather than being on his eyes and functional. Then finally, mid-workout, I look over and see him doing elementary backstroke. Which, if you don't know, is face up and you do a frog kick. Older, not in shape gay man doing face up frog kick in a speedo.... I hope you weren't eating when you read that - if so, I'm sorry.

Then as a bonus, there was a chunky latino lady who was wearing shorts and a *nasty* saggy sports bra, with a clear shower cap over her head. She got in the lane with slow-but-nice guy and proceeded to spend a half hour jumping up and down. In the water in a saggy loose WHITE sports bra.

So, after all this, I guess the okd dude with both nipples pierced w/heavy gauge rings, parrot girl, and hermophrodite lady really aren't all that bad!

2 comments:

Vicky said...

I bet you never thought you'd *miss* parrot girl!

I hope the pool is fixed tomorrow so your eyes don't burn in their sockets at the gym pool.

S.L. Peterson said...

One thing I've learned through years of swimming is that the pool is a magnet for weirdos. It's as though the average person's sense of shame just dissipates with exposure to chlorine.

I personally love the people who show up at the pool in full snorkel gear. I mean, I kow I live in Colorado and all, but go find some open water if you want to snorkel!! The bottom of the pool isn't that exciting...