What I didn't think about when I signed up for IMBoulder is that I effectively killed my summer. There's not much free time for fun when your race is Aug 3rd. And really, its the missing out on stuff that's making me crabby. Instead, I should be focusing on the experiences and fun I am having while training in Colorado in the summer. As far as training places go, CO is hard to beat.
|The view during my 12 mi run last weekend.|
Case in point: this weekend. The 4th of July. A holiday weekend with bbqs and camping and fun. And what will I be doing? s/b/r'ing, sleeping, eating, and spending time on the couch with my feet up.
Really, I would have mentally been ok if it weren't for a random invitation to a BBQ on Friday from 11-2. There's really no way I can go, because I'll be s/b/r'ing for nearly 6 hours. And who has a bbq party that ends at 2? In all honestly, this is just IM peak week fatigue getting to me. The invite was from a HS friend who lives in town but I never see. I can't say I've been invited to his house for a party ever. I may have invited him, not sure, but he's never been over our way. Essentially, he's not a close friend, but I am tweaked that I can't go to his BBQ. I think its more the fact that I can't do something holiday-ish because I have 6 hours of s/b/r. If it was any other Friday, I wouldn't even be complaining.
Then to add insult, I might not even get to stay up late enough to enjoy fireworks. I have a 1:15 swim and a 2:30 run. I was going to run first and then swim, which meant that I needed to start running at 5:45 AM (and leave my house at 5:15). Yep, no fireworks with that alarm time. My coach informed me that I need to swim first and then run, and the pond doesn't open until 7:30, so I won't need to leave my house until 6:45. Which makes firework viewing more likely. But then I'm cranky that I have to run for 2:30 in the heat.
I was talking to my best friend yesterday, trying to arrange weekend plans for July 19th. She's coming here and doing a memorial service for her deceased husband in the mountains. This is not ideal timing for me (time or money) to spend a weekend in the mountains. But she's my sister, I'm Auntie E to her kids, and my ass needs to be up there for support. But the logistics are stressing me out. I've got Saturday morning blocked out for her, but I need to be s/b/r'ing the rest of the time. Not to mention getting sleep and eating properly. The poor thing caught me yesterday afternoon when I was coming home from work and just got a very unhappy version of me. I recognized that, took a nap, and and my mood was better. Sorta. She at least saw my panic and booked me my own room at the lodge instead of asking me to share a room with a stranger in a house full of kids, so I'd have my space and some quiet for sleep. The food concerns me a bit (I will be in a hotel room for 4 days but can walk over to their cabin to cook). And the logistics will be interesting. Not to mention the pressure of spending time with people at a time when I'm at my most selfish and I quite literally don't have very much of me to give. Just just just, but but but.... ugh.
I just need to survive the next ~3+ weeks and get to taper.